can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
