seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i came on her dog
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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