talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
