I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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