For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
someone owes me an orgasm
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
