very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
