if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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