he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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