You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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