he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
