Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
sarcasm needs its own font
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
