The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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