Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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