there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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