Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
