one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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