That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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