guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
