I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
