We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
