my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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