He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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