May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
