Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize