lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
