omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
