Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
