i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
All I want is dick and wine.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
