No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
