That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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