He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
