I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
