well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
