Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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