I hope mine doesn't look like that
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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