So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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