i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
