this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
