I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
