hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
