he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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