You just made me feel so damn special
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
