my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
