Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
