You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
