just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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