you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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