I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
