I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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