i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
In other news, I just burned my penis
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
